...potatoes cook in the ground, so all you have to do is pull em up and butter them!
...the cows are giving evaporated milk.
...the farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice so they won't lay boiled eggs!
...its so hot and dry that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling. The Methodist are using wet wipes and Presbyterians are giving rain checks. And the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!